I’ve made an important life decision. And now that I’ve done so, I’m letting it absorb. Do I truly feel as though that’s the direction my life should go? I haven’t rejected it outright at least, so no buyer’s remorse yet.

I had to make it real though. That’s the only way you’ll know if you truly want it or not. I told my parents and one coworker. Now that I’ve done so, I’m anxious. Am I anxious about my unknown future, or about whether it’s something I truly want to do? I am definitely apprehensive about investing years into something that might not work out. That won’t happen though. I know my strengths and I know I can make it work.

I recently experienced my first date. The date went well, and we had fun, but it seemed to fall apart after that. The timing wasn’t good. I still haven’t quite gotten over her, so I wrote this unsent letter to express my feelings to myself. I did not know that a human being could feel such positive emotions as the two weeks I had with her, or the ongoing pain of rejection that I experience in the weeks after. I’ve never done anything like this before, and I hope that I can move on someday. The names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent.

My mother calls me just about every day. I have decided that this is weird. Of course, it’s expected that she will call you occasionally, that’s what mom’s do. However, I am decidedly less inclined to return the favor.

Our conversations always start in the same, engaging way: She’s driving from somewhere to somewhere else (typically home from work), and she asks me “Hey son! What are you doing?” The conversations then go from meaningless topic to topic, ultimately culminating when she reaches her destination and says she’s hanging up. I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s just using me to fill dead air time. It really gives off this desperate clingy feeling.