What makes me so passionate about the words I write? Perhaps it’s a little of the perfectionist in me shining through. I want to create the perfect sentence–one that conveys exactly as much as needed to evoke a thought or emotion, but nothing more. Much in the way that Kurt Vonnegut crafts his sentences, I wish to craft my own. But most of all, I see it as an art form. It’s a creative release for me. Like all things, however, it takes more than a single sentence to create a story. Putting them all together in such a way to make us feel something when we read it is where the real artistry comes in.
I’ve made an important life decision. And now that I’ve done so, I’m letting it absorb. Do I truly feel as though that’s the direction my life should go? I haven’t rejected it outright at least, so no buyer’s remorse yet.
I had to make it real though. That’s the only way you’ll know if you truly want it or not. I told my parents and one coworker. Now that I’ve done so, I’m anxious. Am I anxious about my unknown future, or about whether it’s something I truly want to do? I am definitely apprehensive about investing years into something that might not work out. That won’t happen though. I know my strengths and I know I can make it work.
I recently experienced my first date. The date went well, and we had fun, but it seemed to fall apart after that. The timing wasn’t good. I still haven’t quite gotten over her, so I wrote this unsent letter to express my feelings to myself. I did not know that a human being could feel such positive emotions as the two weeks I had with her, or the ongoing pain of rejection that I experience in the weeks after. I’ve never done anything like this before, and I hope that I can move on someday. The names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent.
When people ask you what you believe in, do you immediately go towards political or religious beliefs? For instance, you could say you are pro-life or pro-choice. You could say you believe in high taxes or low taxes. You could also say you believe in God. According to Google, belief is defined thusly:
**belief - “an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists”
After some recent experiences that I’ve had, I find this definition to be somewhat weak. I feel as though the definition needs to be expanded to encompass something that I can only call “true belief”. I would define it as follows:
When I was thirteen, I had your stereotypical “thirteen year-old” experience. Nowadays, they call that the “hasn’t quite finished puberty” but is “owning you and swearing badly on COD4” phase. Back in the 90s, there were these online forums called bulletin-board systems (or BBS). You wouldn’t connect to them through the Internet, but through a modem and a text-based terminal software. On one such BBS was a game called Legend of the Red Dragon. Now, if you’ve never heard of it (which I assume you haven’t), it was a text based multiplayer RPG. The goal was to get strong enough to fight a dragon. Once someone defeated the dragon ten total times, they won the game and everything reset.
How do you know whether to take a certain action? If you’re anything like me, then you consider all the evidence and alternatives and then try to decide objectively. If you’re not like me, then you probably think about how you feel at the time and then choose the best feeling option. Unfortunately, neither of these methods are guaranteed to lead to the best decision, even in ideal circumstances. Human beings, it turns out, are a complex grouping of experiences and emotions.
My mother calls me just about every day. I have decided that this is weird. Of course, it’s expected that she will call you occasionally, that’s what mom’s do. However, I am decidedly less inclined to return the favor.
Our conversations always start in the same, engaging way: She’s driving from somewhere to somewhere else (typically home from work), and she asks me “Hey son! What are you doing?” The conversations then go from meaningless topic to topic, ultimately culminating when she reaches her destination and says she’s hanging up. I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s just using me to fill dead air time. It really gives off this desperate clingy feeling.
My name is Jacob, and I am a procrastinator.
This sounds like an introduction to an AA meeting doesn’t it? To be frank, I feel as though there should be a support group for people like me. The feeling of denial was overwhelming. You find that you’re very productive at work or on other things in your life and all of a sudden, you’re not a procrastinator. You’ve shown yourself that since you can operate normally in one facet of your life, that’s proof that you don’t have a problem.
From Reddit: Humanity is the only race in the galaxy with such a massive lack of common sense that we’re the only species that requires laws to form societies. Other races just form naturally and are shocked when confronted with humanities laws and regulations.
“But that doesn’t make any sense!”
“Speak clearly, child.”
Arcturi sighed in frustration. It is difficult to learn when one is being chided. He scowled at the floating tablet. There were several other children in the room, each regarding their tablets with varying emotions. The goal was learning, exercise for the mind. However, the pre-programming often left a lot to be desired. “Nevermind. Tell me about the Mimetic wars again?”
